The best Chuck Norris jokes in honor of his 77th birthday
On this date in 1940, Carlos Ray "Chuck" Norris was born in Ryan, Oklahoma. The U.S. Air Force vet, actor, martial arts expert, film producer and entrepreneur has become a living legend of sorts and the subject of a hilarious meme involving his imaginary exploits and feats.
Did you know that he built the very hospital that he was born in? Legend has it that when little Carlos was born the only one that cried was the doctor. You just don바카라 게임 웹사이트t slap Chuck Norris and get away with it.
He바카라 게임 웹사이트s calm and reasonable but his roundhouse kicks aren바카라 게임 웹사이트t. We can thank his old friend Bruce Lee for those.
Here are some of the best Chuck Norris jokes:
- Chuck Norris turns 77 years old this week. Or rather, 77 turns Chuck Norris.
- There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
- When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
- Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
- Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
- Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
- There are no weapons of mass destruction. Just Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris sheds his skin twice a year.
- Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
- Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
- There is no theory of evolution just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
- TNT was originally developed by Chuck Norris to cure indigestion.
- When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris바카라 게임 웹사이트 house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
- If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
- While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
- When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer. You will score a 1600.
- On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
- Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
- Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
- When the first episode of "Walker, Texas Ranger" was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
- Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
- Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
- Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
- Chuck Norris threw out the first pitch before the start of a Houston Astros game in 2004. The ball just left our solar system.
- Chuck Norris goes back in time to buy beef jerky.
- Santa Claus asks Chuck Norris for presents.
- Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong phone.
How did this virile, humble star of 바카라 게임 웹사이트Walker, Texas Ranger," numerous action flicks and the comedy classic 바카라 게임 웹사이트Dodgeball바카라 게임 웹사이트 become a living meme? It바카라 게임 웹사이트s not a long story.
The Norris meme was created on the SomethingAwful forums over a decade ago. The roots can be traced back to a similar Vin Diesel meme which once exhausted, Norris became the focus of.
In 2011 the father of the meme, Ian Spector, spoke with the Huffington Post about the phenomenon. He바카라 게임 웹사이트s even released books full of Norris facts.
Around 2005 Conan O바카라 게임 웹사이트Brien had begun poking gentle fun at the 바카라 게임 웹사이트Walker바카라 게임 웹사이트 star and so the magic of Norris was in the air on the internet. Soon the "Vin Diesel Fact Generator" was transformed into the "Chuck Norris Fact Generator" and history was made.
The first Norris fact to be listed was "Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. But he is so bada--, he has never cried. Ever." This helped cement the meme into the psyche of a generation who can바카라 게임 웹사이트t think of Norris as anything but an unstoppable, godly, fighting and loving machine that runs on the fear of his enemies.
Fans of 바카라 게임 웹사이트Saturday Night Live바카라 게임 웹사이트 might also see parallels between the Norris facts and the Bill Brasky sketches from the 바카라 게임 웹사이트90s that had a gaggle of drunks commenting about the titanic Brasky바카라 게임 웹사이트s prowess as a human.