10 rules for dating as a single parent
Experts break down how to know if you're ready, how to meet right person
Experts break down how to know if you're ready, how to meet right person
Experts break down how to know if you're ready, how to meet right person
Diving back into the dating world as a single parent can feel daunting 바카라 게임 웹사이트 especially if you바카라 게임 웹사이트ve been out of the dating scene for a while. It바카라 게임 웹사이트s common to worry about things like rejection, how your kids will react to a new partner or whether you바카라 게임 웹사이트re even ready to have someone new come into your family바카라 게임 웹사이트s life.
Deb Laino, DHS, a Delaware-based , says questions like, "What do I do with my kids?" "When do I introduce my kids?" and "Do I want to be in a relationship again?" are totally normal, too.
Because of this, "the idea of 바카라 게임 웹사이트getting back in the game바카라 게임 웹사이트 can be tough,바카라 게임 웹사이트 says , psychologist and founder of . 바카라 게임 웹사이트If that means taking your time, so be it. If that means getting some counseling or coaching first, do it. The toughest part is simply starting.바카라 게임 웹사이트
So when is the right time to start? Ahead, Laino, Parrott and more experts answer this, plus nine more tips that will help you date again as the awesome single parent that you are:
1. Wait a year.
Your best bet 바카라 게임 웹사이트 for yourself and for your children 바카라 게임 웹사이트 is waiting a calendar year after the end of your previous relationship to .
바카라 게임 웹사이트After divorce, people can feel a little lost,바카라 게임 웹사이트 says Laino. By getting involved in things that interest you, you바카라 게임 웹사이트re enabling yourself to find things that bring you joy on your own time. And who knows? You might even meet someone who shares those same interests.
2. Confront your own issues.
Especially if you바카라 게임 웹사이트re coming out of an , it's important to unpack what went wrong, how it may have affected you and even how you may have contributed to the problem, says Laino. Otherwise, you바카라 게임 웹사이트ll just carry those issues with you into your next relationship, and it바카라 게임 웹사이트ll likely cause the same tension and stress.
So if you struggled with communication in your past relationship, take your year off dating to work on connecting with others and vocalizing what's on your mind. If body image is an underlying issue for you, take steps to improve your own feelings of self-worth. It's also not a bad idea to bring a therapist on board, especially if you struggle with self-reflection, says Laino.
3. Let go of guilt.
When you first start dating as a single parent, you may wonder how your children will feel about you spending time with someone new or not being home as much. These feelings are all normal, but you can't let them hold you back.
바카라 게임 웹사이트You'll probably have some inner conflict 바카라 게임 웹사이트 a desire to date and begin a new life with someone while simultaneously feeling some guilt or worry about the effects of dating on the children,바카라 게임 웹사이트 says , a psychologist and author of "Finding Peace When Your Heart Is in Pieces."
바카라 게임 웹사이트The mistake is ping-ponging between those emotions as you try to justify dating on the one hand, while worrying or feeling guilty on the other.바카라 게임 웹사이트
How to avoid ping-ponging: Accept that your family life will, at times, be disrupted when you begin to date. That바카라 게임 웹사이트s not necessarily a bad thing, especially if a positive addition is coming into your life.
4. Know what you want.
Before you even start meeting up with people, decide what exactly it is you바카라 게임 웹사이트re looking for in a new partner. Start with what matters most to you 바카라 게임 웹사이트 your values, for example, says Parrott. Then write them down.
바카라 게임 웹사이트Make a list of deal-makers and deal-breakers,바카라 게임 웹사이트 says Parrott. 바카라 게임 웹사이트Ten each. It may sound silly, but it works because you can then tell right away if a person is worth pursuing. Don바카라 게임 웹사이트t rely on your feelings alone.바카라 게임 웹사이트
One thing that should definitely make the list? Tolerance. 바카라 게임 웹사이트They need to have a higher level of patience because sometimes it takes that when you have kids,바카라 게임 웹사이트 says Laino.
5. Give online dating a chance.
As a single parent, odds are you바카라 게임 웹사이트re spending most of your free time running the kids to basketball practices and recitals 바카라 게임 웹사이트 not hitting up the local bar. That바카라 게임 웹사이트s why online dating could be a great place to start as you re-emerge into the dating world.
The first thing to know: 바카라 게임 웹사이트Choose a reputable dating site, and don바카라 게임 웹사이트t be afraid to pay for it,바카라 게임 웹사이트 says Parrott. and are typically good bets for finding a real relationship 바카라 게임 웹사이트 especially since they바카라 게임 웹사이트re active with single parents, says Laino. Popular apps like and have become more common for dating, too.
Once you've signed up, fill out the basics in your profile, upload a few recent pictures and ask a friend to review it and give you constructive feedback, says Parrott. Once you get the green light, start looking for matches, and do so regularly.
바카라 게임 웹사이트That means checking in at least every couple of days to see what kind of people are reaching out,바카라 게임 웹사이트 says Parrot.
And if you do find someone worth meeting? Do so publicly, and always let a friend know what you바카라 게임 웹사이트re doing, just in case.
6. Be transparent with your kids.
The anxiety of how your kids will react to you dating again is very real. But once again, it바카라 게임 웹사이트s important to not let that fear cripple you from ever leaving the house without them.
바카라 게임 웹사이트Keep the communication channels open,바카라 게임 웹사이트 says Parrott. 바카라 게임 웹사이트That means chatting with your kids (at the appropriate age level) to let them know what you're doing. Don바카라 게임 웹사이트t keep it a secret for fear they will feel weird about it. Allow them to talk about their feelings.바카라 게임 웹사이트
It바카라 게임 웹사이트s also a good idea, especially if your kids are young, to explain to them what exactly dating is. Tell them that as adults, it's normal to meet someone and become friends for a while. Sometimes it works out, other times it doesn바카라 게임 웹사이트t, and it바카라 게임 웹사이트s not a bad thing either way.
바카라 게임 웹사이트That바카라 게임 웹사이트s really important, just in case it doesn바카라 게임 웹사이트t work out,바카라 게임 웹사이트 says Laino.
7. Be upfront that you're a parent.
You don't have to share your whole life story on the first date, but when it comes to you being a mom or dad, the earlier you let your date know, the better. Laino brings up a good point: 바카라 게임 웹사이트What if you바카라 게임 웹사이트re on a date and you have to leave because something happened to your kid?바카라 게임 웹사이트 she says.
If you do need to take a call or cut the night short, know that as a single mom or dad 바카라 게임 웹사이트 especially if you바카라 게임 웹사이트re dating someone who doesn바카라 게임 웹사이트t have kids 바카라 게임 웹사이트 it바카라 게임 웹사이트s completely OK to put your children first. The right new partner will completely respect that fact and be happy to be involved with your children, as well, says Coleman.
8. Be thoughtful about introducing someone to your kids.
You want to make sure everyone is ready, and this starts with your kids. 바카라 게임 웹사이트Once the two of you are getting serious, your kids will know and, ideally, they바카라 게임 웹사이트ll ask to meet your partner,바카라 게임 웹사이트 says Parrott. 바카라 게임 웹사이트If they don바카라 게임 웹사이트t, hint about the idea and make it a mutual decision with you and your children.바카라 게임 웹사이트
The same goes for your partner. 바카라 게임 웹사이트Wait until it seems like the relationship is on solid footing, that a commitment is desired, that there is genuine love,바카라 게임 웹사이트 says Coleman. 바카라 게임 웹사이트Otherwise, you run the risk of the kids growing attached to someone who eventually leaves because the relationship was not strong enough to begin with.바카라 게임 웹사이트
9. Name any challenges up front.
Once you plan to introduce a new partner to your kids, be honest about your children바카라 게임 웹사이트s habits and personalities. 바카라 게임 웹사이트If there are any problems brewing (acting out, poor school performance, and so on), state them clearly,바카라 게임 웹사이트 says Coleman.
After all, if this person becomes a more permanent fixture in your and your children바카라 게임 웹사이트s lives, they바카라 게임 웹사이트ll take on an authoritative role with your children, which means you both need to be on the same page about the struggles the children are facing and how you as their parent choose to discipline them. That way, the new partner can follow those boundaries.
10. Never, ever settle!
One more time in case you were distracted: DON'T SETTLE. 바카라 게임 웹사이트You're not less desirable because you are older or have children,바카라 게임 웹사이트 says Coleman. 바카라 게임 웹사이트A mature person won바카라 게임 웹사이트t let those things interfere with really getting to know you and perhaps fall in love.바카라 게임 웹사이트
This starts on date one with a potential new partner. Remember those behaviors you would let roll off your back when dating as a 20-something, like a date picking you up late or constantly checking their phone at the dinner table? Those shouldn바카라 게임 웹사이트t fly as a single parent.
바카라 게임 웹사이트If somebody doesn바카라 게임 웹사이트t respect you, I think that바카라 게임 웹사이트s an absolute big red flag, and it바카라 게임 웹사이트s likely not going to change,바카라 게임 웹사이트 says Laino. Look for things early on that signal disrespect, like showing up late, telling you how to parent your kids or not listening to you while you speak.
Bottom line: Like dating during any other part of your life, dating as a single parent will have its ups and downs.
When you do meet someone great, it still won바카라 게임 웹사이트t be perfect 바카라 게임 웹사이트 and that바카라 게임 웹사이트s OK.
바카라 게임 웹사이트It typically takes a long time for kids to get in sync with you and a new partner,바카라 게임 웹사이트 says Parrott. The road might feel bumpy at first, but once you do find balance, it will absolutely feel worth it 바카라 게임 웹사이트 for both you and your family.