In Denver, Colorado, this seemingly innocent woman would be committing *** crime. loaning your next door neighbor *** vacuum cleaner in the Mile High City, it turns out, is against the law. Those lawmakers must really have been enjoying *** Rocky Mountain high when they passed that one. And don't you dare boil cabbage in West Virginia. The resulting odors are considered *** common. And believe it or not, the lawmakers of Danville, PA in their wisdom have decreed that all fire hydrants must be checked at least one hour before *** fire. Here's another one that's pretty hard to swallow. The powers that be or were in Hartford, Connecticut have made it *** criminal offense to cross the street while walking on your hands. Now just why Hartford sage councilman look askance at this activity, I leave to your imaginations. If your idea of *** good time is having *** snort or two with *** carp of your acquaintance, well, uh, that's your business anywhere that is, but in Oklahoma, where getting *** fish drunk is against the law. And finally, in the fair city of Portland, Oregon, roller skating in public restrooms is not only frowned upon, it too, for reasons unfathomable to this reporter, is also against the law.